


and i can't lose you (again)

by Rejectedmarvel



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers - Freeform, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Irondad, Irondad Fic Exchanged 2020, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28144620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rejectedmarvel/pseuds/Rejectedmarvel
Summary: Happy Holidays everyone, it's time for another Irondad Fic Exchange!!This year I got paired with the lovely gothbats and from their prompts, I've chosen:The team (or just Peter and Tony) during and after an intense mission - how they recuperate, hugs, clean their wounds, argue over the mission. Peter fights an internal battle with himself/trauma.Really loved working on this one <3 Hope you enjoy it!
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Michelle Jones, Tony Stark & Avengers Team, Tony Stark & Peter Parker
Comments: 8
Kudos: 69
Collections: Irondad Fic Exchange 2020





	and i can't lose you (again)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gothbats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothbats/gifts).



> Warnings: mentions of death, injuries, and blood

There was an eerie silence within the Quinjet; no one daring to utter a word to other fellow teammates. Everyone sat in their own horrific worlds, the mission still weighing heavy on their souls. It was a constant reminder of just how precious life was - _how things could change within a millisecond._

They had lived through this trauma before and yet they almost lost it all again. 

_ Aliens _ , it had always been an otherworldly threat. Some new species, some tyrant trying to take Earth for their own. It didn’t matter that Thanos had been defeated or the Avengers were slowly trying to reassemble the broken remains left in the wake of their own vision of the Civil War. Another threat was upon them, reigning down destruction in hopes of doing what the Titan had wanted. 

But this time, it wasn’t Thanos and his army of Chitauri; it was another race of alien creatures intertwined with mechanical enhancements making them much deadlier than imagined. 

________

Natasha’s panicked voice echoed through comms. “Where’s my air support?!” She grunts, a painful hiss escaping her as some creature roars in the distance. Gunshots echo, explosions everywhere. “We’re getting overrun here!”

She meant herself along with Bucky and Sam. A newly formed trio after Steve took a step back from his role of Captain America and after Clint --  _ sacrificed himself for the soul stone.  _ They’ve worked well together since the events of Berlin years ago, a perfect team for smaller missions. But nowadays, other planets were aware of the heroes within Earth; the mightiest heroes that defended their planet against an all-powerful titan and his army. 

They wanted a piece of the action themselves, a chance to defeat the Avengers. 

Peter had been midway study prep for his college physics exam when notifications began blaring on his phone. An emergency alert for all active Avengers to assemble, a distress call coming from the trio sent in to check out a strange signal coming from the outskirts of the city. 

It was a portal waiting to be open, a “gift” waiting to be unleashed by the very heroes guarding the planet. 

He instinctively swung from his apartment, kissing his girlfriend, Michelle for good luck. They never kissed goodbye; a small agreement between them to make sure they come back to each other at the end of the day. They were both dead once before and they didn’t want to repeat that until  _ many  _ years later. 

Peter expected the usuals to provide aid, the current team assembling to stop whatever threat that was about to overrun his friends. And yet, he stumbled into an odd and worrying image of people that should be long retired by now.

Steve _ , the  _ bearded man dawning his Nomad suit, only made in dire situations and-

_ Tony.  _

His mentor, his father figure, one of the many people he would do anything to protect suiting up again; Iron Man gracing the world for another day. Peter’s breath hitches at the sight, a flood of memories and trauma washing over him. 

_ “Mr. Stark? Tony?” _

_ His mentor just stared, burn scars creeping up his arm and neck. His breathing faltered, eyes in a haze as he struggled to form a sentence.  _

_ Peter tried to take his hand, the panic and emotions clutching his lungs. The sobs erupted as he begged the man to say; a near-identical image of Ben moments away from his death playing out in front of him.  _

The image scared deep in his mind, the panic forever looming over him. It didn’t matter that Tony had survived; how people among the likes of Carol, Dr. Cho, and Shuri were able to bring him from the brink of death. His mentor, his second pseudo-father nearly died; scars still stretching up his arm and neck -- a constant reminder of what  _ could _ have happened.

_ And this man was throwing himself back into the fray again. _

Peter felt the bile rise in his throat, muffled explosions rippling from the sight of the portal. Other teammates were addressing the city, doing their job as he stood there and stared. The acid stings against his throat, mouth going dry.

Panic and worry clutched his lungs like a snake, the constant what-ifs matched with a recurring nightmare replaying in his head. 

_ Tony could die this time-- _

_ He could actually-- _

_ These aliens could actually be the very thing that-- _

“Wheels up in two, Pete!” Steve’s voice echoes across the hanger, both men just realizing his presence. Tony doesn’t notice his demeanor, brows furrowed as he fiddles around with FRIDAY and his suit. The man urges him forward. “Scott and Hope just touched down and Rhodey is accessing the surrounding city. It’s all hands on deck by the looks of it.”

“What are we-” Peter grows distracted by his mentor once more, Tony ruffling his curls like it was the old days of team-ups. “How bad is this invasion?”

“FRIDAY is running scans now but hopefully if we can get that portal closed, the remaining freaks will be easy to take down,” Tony chimed in, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “You know this reminds me of our little team-ups; Iron Man and Spidey taking down the bad guys of New York.”

He did too but more so the fact of how simple his life used to be back then. There wasn’t some constant threat of aliens invading, hidden dangers lurking around each corner. Now, he was nineteen -- _technically twenty-four if he wasn’t dead for five years_ \-- and a vastly different person than he was when he got his powers at fourteen. 

He missed the simplicities; the lack of horrid memories from his time on titan and the years to follow. 

But Peter pushed the panic and worry straight down, plastering on a smile like this was a normal occurrence. They had a city and possible world to save, he couldn’t let his own selfish need of protecting his mentor get in the way. 

“Sure,” He heaves, patting Tony’s shoulder. “I’m sure Pepper loves the idea of you putting on the suit again.”

“I guess we all can’t escape with this type of job. We’re all called back to it one day.”

“Life of a superhero,” Peter sighs. “Always full of surprises.”

“Now,” His mentor smirks, ruffling his curls once more. “Let’s kick some alien ass, I want to be home by dinner.”

_ They weren’t.  _

________

Peter’s fists stayed clenched, knuckles white and aching. His body runs off pure adrenaline, pushing past his teammates with an urgency. A mixture of anger and terror swirled within him, bitter memories bubbling up to the surface.

_ I don’t wanna go, I don’t— _

He collides with a cold surface, snapping him out of his terror fueled daze. The door to the Medbay opens, a clean and sterile area about to be ruined. Peter’s adrenaline lowers enough for him to feel the throbbing pain in his side; the bruises and cuts his body was trying desperately to heal. 

Desperately he clings to the nearest first aid kit, fist finally unclenching as he fumbles for some bandages. His mind forms a list; important tasks to not send him over the edge.

_ He needed to attend to his injuries. _

_ He doesn’t need to think about— _

_ He needs to be quick— _

_ He almost, he almost— _

A hand touches his shoulder, causing Peter to flinch. The bandages tumble to the floor bloody and tangled. His breath hitches, the panic, the terror, the memories all trying to surface. Tony watches him through worried eyes, brows furrowed.

“Kiddo talk to me.”

Peter bites his tongue, glassy eyes scanning the injured form of his mentor and pseudo father figure. The metal arm catches his attention; slightly dented, charred from the fight. Blood cakes Tony’s forehead, makeshift bandages covering his own injuries. Soot covers his mentor’s features, sulfur lingering in the air. 

He heaves, tears threatening to spill.

_ Don’t break down here, don’t break down in front of— _

“Peter,” Tony sounds desperate, hand trying to reach out.

Peter tries to speak but memories crash down upon him like a tidal wave. The countless hours, days, weeks of watching Tony with May hoping that somehow he could wake up from his coma. The stones had nearly taken his life, doctors unsure if he would even wake up. 

When did finally open his eyes, finally leaving the halls of the Medbay — Tony promised _one_ thing. He was done, retiring; taking a step back from the Avengers.

And yet, the moment aliens descend on the city his mentor was back to his same old antics — sacrificing himself for the greater good.

_ Peter almost lost  _ **_him_ ** _ again. _

“Don’t!” His voice booms through the Medbay, bloody hand smacking Tony’s away. Tears freely fall, panic breaths escaping. _“Just don’t.”_

“Pete,” Tony keeps his voice calm, hands hovering just an inch away. “Kiddo, I know things got bad back there but we’re all fine-“

“Fine?!” He snaps back tugging at his curls. He heaves roughly rubbing the tear off his face. “Fine is coming out unscathed, not half of the team needing medical attention!”

“But none of them are life-threatening,” Tony offers worried eyes trying to figure out a way to comfort him. 

“You just don’t get it.”

The anxiety curls around Peter’s lungs, his head swimming with overwhelming thoughts. Tony didn’t understand, he didn’t have any idea how much his latest stunt scared him. 

“What don’t I get Peter?”

“Just,” He scrambles to pick up the bandages, hissing from the pain. “It doesn't matter.”

“Well, it matters to you so it matters to me.”

“Tony,” He pleads. “Drop it.”

“Peter, something is upsetting you. Tell me what it-“

The emotions erupt.

“You!” He yells, tears freely falling as his body shakes. Sobs tumble out uncontrollably, his fists back into tight fists. 

Tony stands there stunned, brows furrowed trying to piece together what he did wrong. “Kiddo-“

“Y-You promised that you were done. Only to decide to put on a suit,” The words tumble out. “And then you recklessly drive into the fight head first-“

“Peter,” His mentor grabs him holding his shaking form. 

“No, no-“ Peter pulls back. “You almost died  _ again!”  _ His voice echoes through the room, eyes bloodshot. 

“Kid, I-“ His mentor stumbles for the right words, looking quite distressed himself. “Look, I know scared everybody back there. But sometimes someone has to make the sacrifice play to-“

“And I can’t lose you again!” Peter heaves, bitter memories replaying over and over again.

_ Titan. _

_ The final battle. _

_ All ending with the loss of innocence. _

Peter saw the world in a new light, a clock counting backward until it strikes zero. Everything around him had their own clock, their own countdown to the day they would leave him.

But Tony liked to play with time. He had a knack for cutting his time in half, doubling it soon after he made a big play on his life. It was an ongoing cycle of fear bottled until it finally exploded.

“I-I can’t watch you throw your life away like it’s nothing.” 

“Kid-“

“No!” Peter roughly shoves his chests, body trembling. “You act like the world would be better without you in it but the truth is that it would be terrible. Terrible for everyone including  _ me.” _

Peter takes a deep breath, glassy eyes begging Tony. 

“You can’t sacrifice your life just to save me.”

The room deafens with a suffocating silence. Peter continues to shake in his place, tears rolling down his face. His mentor watches him with his own torment, swirling thoughts hiding behind his tearful brown eyes. The age shows on the man’s face, the years all of the sudden weighing heavily. 

“Pete, I-” Tony clears his throat, eyes just as bloodshot as his. 

He sniffles, free hand wiping away a stray tear. His mentor’s touch never fully leaves him, a constant hand, ground him -- _grounding the both of them._

“When you...you-” The words struggled to form. “Disappeared.”

“Died,” He corrects, the familiar sting of his body crumbling resurfacing. 

Tony stares hauntingly. “You were gone, kiddo. All in a matter of  _ seconds _ .” His voice cracks, left hand trembling. “Five years I spent running over scenarios, running over what I did wrong. Because a piece of my heart was missing and that piece was  _ you.”  _

“Tony-”

“No,” Tony cuts him off, hand trembling, “I knew the moment I got you back I would do anything,  _ anything _ to keep you alive.”

Peter matches his gaze. “And what about me,” He pressed a finger into his mentor's chest, heaving as the emotions bubbled up to the surface once more. “What about when I watched you die only to be resuscitated into a coma?!” 

His voice echoes, Tony letting him air his frustration. 

“You were lifeless for weeks,  _ weeks _ . Every day I woke up expecting May or Pepper to tell me you--” A sob erupts from his lips, hands desperately trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. His body trembles, quite whimpers following. “died...Tony, you should have--”

Tony this time breaks the distance between them, engulfing his shaking form into a tight hug. A few sniffles escape his mentor, tears falling into his curls. Peter clutches onto his mentor, trembling fingers keeping him near -- making sure he was actually here breathing. 

“Kiddo,” Tony hushes, kissing the crown of his head. “I’m here, I’m right here.”

“Y-You can’t-” He hiccups. “Y-You can’t die.”

“Pete,” His mentor gently brushes the curls from his eyes, a sadness lingering in his voice. “We all eventually-” Peter stills from the comment, grip tightening. Tony stops himself, a heavy sigh escaping. “I’ll do my best, I promise.”

Peter swallows another lump in this throat wishing his mentor could give him more; to give him a better form of a promise. But deep down he knows this is the best someone in this line of work could give their loved ones. Their life was in a never-ending cycle of chance, with one day of their luck running out. 

“I’ll always come back,” Tony hunkers down on his promise. “I will always find a way back to my family.”

“You scared me” Peter whispers, refusing to let go just yet. “But I’m sorry I yelled.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Pete.” 

“I love you.”

Tony chuckles, wet laugher filling the once tense room. “I love you too, kiddo.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sending everyone love during this crazy holiday season <3 Stay Safe!!


End file.
